Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife”. Proverbs 21:9
Sometimes a husband and wife need a season of separation, working toward reconciliation as the ultimate outcome. Things have gotten so bad that hatred has a hold on the home. Couples who do not communicate, and who chronically agitate one another are not healthy. Love and respect has been lost on the altar of anger and ego. They need a revival of their original marriage vows to love unselfishly.
“It [love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
You may be tolerating one another while the children are home, but covertly you both have an exit strategy once you experience an ‘empty nest’. Do you really want to live this way? Is this honoring to the Lord, your children and your marriage? If your relationship suffers from the cancer of caustic conversation, take measures now to remove its deadly influence. If ignored it will eat away your character, influence, peace and joy.
Pride is the largest single contributor to a contentious couple. Neither one wants to take responsibility for their role in the marriage. Blame never restored a marriage, only “I’m sorry”, “Please forgive me”, “I was wrong”, or “Let’s work this out” can do that. Separation is meant to give you space to experience God’s grace, and then relentlessly extend it back to your spouse.
“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Satan would like to take you from separation to divorce, but your Savior specializes in facilitating reconciliation out of separation. Each one of you is to bow in humility on your knees and come clean with Christ, so you can be reunited in love and forgiveness. Allow the Lord to love you so you can love like Him, bold and beautiful. Are you willing to let go of your list of demands and replace it with acceptance and love? Wounded couples who seek healing, can come home to a culture of humility and happiness.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).
Prayer: Heavenly Father, humble my heart to become a part of the solution and not be controlled by the problem of my pride, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Application: Consider attending a marriage intensive with Center for Relational Care. This five day experience transformed our marriage into a new level of love and intimacy built on Christ!